Is Your Introduction Any Good?

Aysima Gülşen

Let’s face it: introductions are hard. They’re like opening scenes in plays—you’ve got to establish a tone, grab attention, sketch out the stakes, and hint at where things are going. All in the space of a single paragraph.

If you’ve ever stared at a blank page wondering how to begin your Paper 1, Paper 2, or HL Essay, you're not alone. But there are models out there. And one of the best examples I’ve come across comes from none other than philosopher and public intellectual Cornel West.

Let’s take a look at the opening paragraph of his essay “The Paradox of the Afro-American Rebellion.” It’s not a piece of literary criticism, but as you’ll see, it's brimming with craft, clarity, and critical energy. And it’s an incredible model for the kind of writing we aim for in IB—writing that is analytical, original, and intellectually alive.

🌟 Cornel West’s Introduction:

“The distinctive feature of Afro-American life in the 60s was the rise on the historical stage of a small yet determined petite bourgeoisie promoting liberal reforms, and the revolt of the masses, whose aspirations exceeded those of liberalism but whose containment was secured by political appeasement, cultural control and state repression. Afro-America encountered the modern American capitalist order (in its expansionist phase)—as urban dwellers, industrial workers and franchised citizens—on a broad scale for the first time. This essay will highlight the emergence of the black parvenu petite bourgeoisie—the new, relatively privileged, middle class—and its complex relations to the black working poor and underclass. I will try to show how the political strategies, ideological struggles and cultural anxieties of this predominantly white-collar stratum of the black working class both propelled the freedom movement in an unprecedented manner and circumscribed its vision, analysis and praxis within liberal capitalist perimeters.”

(Cornel West, “The Paradox of the Afro-American Rebellion,” Social Text, 1984)

Why This Introduction Works

West’s intro isn’t flashy. He doesn’t open with a joke or an anecdote. What he does do is carefully assemble an intellectually powerful argument from the very first sentence.

Here’s a breakdown of what makes it so effective—and what you should aim for in your own essays.

1. It starts with a hook—but not a gimmicky one.

West opens with a clear and provocative tension: the simultaneous rise of a reformist black middle class and a rebellious black underclass. He doesn’t waste time with a vague generalization about history or oppression. He dives straight into the specific contradiction the essay will examine.

In Paper 2, instead of beginning with “This novel is about love and loss,” aim to start with the paradox or tension your essay explores:

“While Atwood’s Offred appears powerless within the rigid structure of Gilead, it is precisely her internal resistance and narration that destabilizes the regime’s claim to total control.”

In IB Paper 1 or HL Essay, rather than introducing a text with a summary, launch into the contradiction or strategy you’ll be analyzing:

“Though the advertisement presents a smiling, eco-conscious consumer, the use of corporate green imagery masks the deeper complicity of the brand in environmental degradation.”

2. It outlines the evidence without summarizing.

West doesn’t just name his topic—he gestures toward what kind of material the essay will deal with:

“urban dwellers, industrial workers, franchised citizens,”

“the emergence of the black parvenu petite bourgeoisie,”

“political strategies, ideological struggles, cultural anxieties…”

He’s showing us what kinds of “evidence” will anchor the argument without listing quotes or summarizing events.

Point to the literary elements you’ll be working with—symbolism, structure, narration, character dynamic—but do so in the language of analysis, not summary.

“Through fragmented chronology and recursive internal monologue, Faulkner’s portrayal of Quentin Compson suggests that the act of remembering is itself an act of psychological disintegration.”

Name the features—tone, mode, voice, medium—but frame them in relation to your larger analytical point.

“Using repetition and rhetorical questions, the speech presents populist unity while subtly suppressing dissenting voices.”

3. It uses the first person—strategically.

West doesn’t hide behind passive constructions. He writes, “I will try to show...”

This is a sign of ownership. He’s not pretending to deliver an obvious truth; he’s framing an argument, one that someone could push back against. That’s what academic writing is—a conversation, not a verdict.

Now, in IB essays, especially for final exams, first-person language is often discouraged in favor of formal tone. But that doesn’t mean you can’t emulate the effect of what West is doing. Your job is to signal that what follows is a contested, arguable interpretation—not a bland restatement of the obvious.

Instead of:

“Shakespeare shows how ambition leads to destruction.”

Try:

“This essay will argue that ambition in Macbeth functions less as a moral flaw than as a political weapon shaped by gendered performance.”

Instead of:

“This article uses statistics and emotive language to convey its message.”

Try:

“By juxtaposing hard data with emotionally charged testimonials, the article crafts a narrative of urgency that positions its reader as both witness and potential actor.”

4. ends with a thesis that is clear, complex, and contestable.

West’s final sentence is a masterclass in thesis construction. It includes:

A clear claim: the black middle class both propelled and limited the civil rights movement.

A sense of stakes: this paradox matters—because it shaped the scope and direction of a major social movement.

A preview of analysis: political strategies, ideological struggles, cultural anxieties.

For your own thesis: Ask yourself:

What exactly am I arguing?

Why is that claim interesting, original, or unexpected?

What literary or textual strategies will I analyze to support it?

Your Introduction Checklist

Before you move on to paragraph two, ask yourself:

Have I introduced a central tension or paradox, rather than a generic topic?

Have I named the kind of evidence I’ll explore, without summarizing it?

Have I made it clear that my argument is mine—that it’s interpretive and arguable?

Is my thesis specific, complex, and focused on how meaning is made?

Final Thought: Read Great Writing

The best way to write better is to read better writing. That doesn’t mean you copy Cornel West’s phrasing or try to sound like a philosopher in your English essay. But use his introduction as a mirror. Hold it up to your own opening paragraph. What’s missing? What could be sharper, bolder, clearer?

And remember: the introduction is not just a place to warm up. It’s your reader’s first encounter with your argument. Make it count.

Let me know if you want to workshop your intro—I’d be glad to help you find your hook, sharpen your thesis, or rethink your opening structure.

Let’s start strong.